Obama Taps Immelt
President Obama is about to put GE CEO Jeffrey Immelt at the head of a new White House board in charge of boosting private sector hiring. Obama chose Immelt, because he's the only chief executive who's a bigger failure than the president is.



Walmart Protest a Bust
Only 25 people showed up to yesterday's union protest at the home of a Walmart developer in Washington D.C. More picketers would have showed up, but they were all too busy buying cheap stuff at Walmart.



Idaho vs. Obamacare
Idaho lawmakers are about to nullify the new health care law for their state. Hey, they've kept touch-tone phones out for the last 40 years, why not Obamacare?



Late Leaf
Nissan is months late on delivering its new electric Leaf car to its dealers. The delivery trucks just can't find a place to re-charge.



James Engaged
Less than a year after news broke that he had cheated on his wife Sandra Bullock, Jesse James is ready to tie the knot again. Sure he's a philanderer, but a guy with 500 tattoos must know something about lifetime commitments!





January 21st


1793: King Louis XVI of France is executed by guillotine. The angry mob then moves on to form “Greenpeace.”


1908: New York City passes the Sullivan Ordinance, making it illegal for women to smoke in public… but legal to pee on the subway.


1968: A B-52 bomber crashes near Thule Air Base at the North Pole, losing one of the four nuclear bombs in its payload. The bomb is still unaccounted for, but it’s assumed Santa gave it to some kid who was REALLY good that Christmas.