Jobs on Leave
Steve Jobs is taking another medical leave of absence... until he can capture and grab a new pancreas from one of the geeks waiting on line for a new iPhone.



Hu's Call
Chinese leader Hu Jintao now says that the world's dollar-based currency should be a thing of the past... along with other outdated things like the 16-hour work day and child labor laws.



California Switch
Even though new Governor Jerry Brown took away government-issued cell phones from state workers, hundreds of them are still getting new cars from the state. Well, at least we know they won't be texting while driving.




New Starbucks Super Size
Starbucks is rolling out its biggest size drink ever, the 31-ounce "Trenta," this spring. In a cruel twist of fate, that's just around the time the chain will make its bathrooms for employees only.



Barak Bolts Labor
Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak is quitting the Labor Party... his mother still thinks he should have been a doctor.




January 17th



1377: Pope Gregory XI moves the Papacy back to Rome from Avignon… thanks mostly to the sweet tax incentives.


1524: Giovanni da Verrazzano sets sail to find a sea route to the Pacific Ocean and create a bridge with an $11 toll.


1917: The United States pays Denmark $25 million for the Virgin Islands… then demands its money back when it turns out the Islands were pregnant.