Ancient Winery
Archaeologists have discovered the world's oldest winery in Armenia. The minimum drinking age there is 2,100.



Teacher Ratings
Speaking of that, a judge has ruled that NYC can release the ratings of 12,000 of its public school teachers. Luckily, the published results won't embarrass all the teachers because 10,000 of them are illiterate.




Hillary's "Admission"
In response to Saturday's shootings in Tucson, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told a group of Arab leaders that we have a lot of "extremists" in America. The Muslim diplomats agreed, and then went home and stoned most of their wives and daughters to death.



Injection Problem
Several states are having a hard time getting their hands on the drug that's used in lethal injections. Not because of supply issues, but because state employee unions won't allow workers go to the pharmacy during lunch hour.



Tigers Win
Auburn won the college football national championship last night... which means Auburn's NCAA suspension should begin in about two weeks.




January 11th



630: Muhammad leads an army of 10,000 Muslims to conquer Mecca. Mecca’s president snaps into action by first counseling all local citizens not to descend into anti-Muslim bigotry.


1878: Milk is first delivered in bottles. 132 years later, most men still to prefer their milk to come in breasts.


1990: 300,000 march in favor of Lithuanian independence… and 600,000 march for justice against Milli Vanilli.