Chicago Plan
A Chicago alderman is proposing the idea of not paying city officials when they're charged with felonies. The plan is expected to save taxpayers $50 billion because there aren't any Chicago official who aren't currently charged with felonies.



Bailed Out Lobbying
GM and Chrysler are still partially owned by the government, but they are now spending millions lobbying the government. Isn't that like taking your wife out on an expensive date?



Sudan Debt
Former President Jimmy Carter wants to the international community to forgive Sudan's $39 billion debt... mostly because Sudan is so poor that its government leaders are having to use used rocks to stone their wives.



Pope Beatified
Pope John Paul II will be beatified in May. Proving once again, that you really don't have to screw anyone to become a Saint.



Taxes on Your Phone
Thanks to Turbo Tax, now you can file and do your taxes on your smart phone... because online identity theft just isn't easy enough already.



January 14th


1301: Andrew III of Hungary dies, ending the hopes for a third sequel.


1858: Napoleon III of France escapes an assassination attempt… and immediately blames the Tea Party.


1943: Franklin D. Roosevelt and Winston Churchill begin the Casablanca Conference to discuss strategy and how to get into Ingrid Bergman’s pants.