Volcano Disruptions
Because of the volcanic eruption in Iceland, air travel across Europe is expected to be horrific today... kind of like air travel across Europe when there isn't a volcanic eruption in Iceland.



Gay Medical Rights
President Obama has extended power of attorney and visitation rights to gay couples at most U.S. hospitals. Now when health care reform is fully enacted, gay patients can have company as they waste away waiting six months to see a doctor.



Jobless Benefit Extension
President Obama and Congress have extended unemployment benefits to 99 weeks. Usually to get government benefits and not work for two years, you have to be in graduate school.



Prayer Outlawed
A federal judge in Wisconsin ruled the National Day of Prayer is unconstitutional. Mostly because, anyone who thinks God can still save this country is sadly mistaken.



Afghan Deaths
Deaths of Afghan civilians have doubled from 2009. On the bright side, Afghan unemployment is down 50%!





April 16th


73: Masada, a Jewish fortress, falls to the Romans after several months of siege, and a decision by 79% of the Jews to vote for the Romans anyway.


1862: A bill ending slavery in the District of Columbia becomes law. Since then, only lobbyists in Washington are allowed to own slaves, and only if those slaves are Members of Congress.


1943: Dr. Albert Hofmann discovers the psychedelic effects of LSD. Actually, it was his 17-year-old son who discovered it during a party in the Hoffman family basement, but you get the idea.