Goldman on the Hill
A Senate subcommittee is calling several Goldman Sachs executives to a hearing this morning. It's not clear if the Senators want the executives to testify about the housing collapse, or just to sign their campaign donation checks.



Kyrgyz President Charged
The president of Kyrgyz has been charged with murder... mostly for killing the careers of thousands of American news anchors who haven't been able to pronounce "Kyrgyz."



Bad Joke
National Security Advisor General James Jones is apologizing for making an Anti-Semitic joke. But since he works for the Obama administration, 78% of Jews still thought it was funny.



Youth and Religion
A new survey shows that most young adults don't pray, don't worship and don't read the Bible... they do, however, text God an average of 100 times a day.



Unions vs. Meg
California's municipal unions are declaring an all-out war on Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. The unions are outraged at reports that Whitman may lay off thousands of state workers... they're also outraged at reports that Whitman may make state workers who don't get laid off actually work.





April 27th


1667: John Milton sells the copyright of Paradise Lost for £10... the Cliff's Notes version goes for £50.


1861: Responding to the threats from the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln suspends the writ of habeas corpus... historians blame President Bush.


2005: The superjumbo jet aircraft Airbus A380 makes its first flight from Toulouse, France. The jet holds more than 550 passengers, but tragically has only one bathroom.