State Cuts
Cash-strapped states are putting more criminals on probation and parole rather than continuing to elect them to office where the costs really add up.



Toyota Numbers
Toyota just reported that its profits came in 39% lower than last year. In a related story, lawyers suing Toyota reported that their profits came in 39% higher than last year.



College Shakedown
The University of California schools say they will not boost tuition, but only if the people of California vote in favor of higher taxes. Luckily, the only people dumb enough to vote for higher taxes are likely to go to the University of California.



Cavs Lose Again
The Cleveland Cavaliers have now lost a record 25 straight games. The team isn't sure if it should try harder or just wait around for a government bailout.



Olbermann's New Job
Keith Olbermann has a possible deal with Al Gore’s Current TV. Olbermann plans to start doing reports on global warming for the station as soon as he can de-ice his car.





February 8th


1575: Universiteit Leiden is founded, and given the motto Praesidium Libertatis… which means: “Free Beer!”


1865: Delaware voters reject the Thirteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, and vote to continue the practice of slavery. This remains the worst thing Delaware’s voters had ever done until they elected Joe Biden to the Senate.


1922: President Warren G. Harding introduces the first radio in the White House… bringing the dangers of Boogie Woogie frighteningly close to the Oval Office.