Mubarak Announcements
Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is still refusing to leave office. However, he is hinting that he might be changing his Facebook status.



Tech Team-Up
Nokia and Microsoft have just announced they're teaming up... in hopes of replicating what it's like when you have diarrhea and nausea at the same time.



Sheen Divorce Proceedings
Charlie Sheen's estranged wife has been awarded custody of their children. But Sheen has been granted the right to visit his porn collection at the house two times a month.



Foster Parent Union?
The state of Oregon is considering allowing foster parents to join a state worker union... because good parents should never need to be around more than eight hours a day for their kids without being paid overtime.



Iowa Migration
The census bureau reports that more and more Iowans are leaving rural areas and heading for the cities. It's not clear when they'll realize that Des Moines is not a city.




February 11th


1531: Henry VIII of England is recognized as supreme head of the Church of England. Today, that would be like Charlie Sheen the head of the Betty Ford Clinic.

1916: Emma Goldman is arrested for lecturing on birth control… mostly because no one could stomach seeing her and thinking about sex at all.

1953: President Dwight Eisenhower refuses clemency appeal for Ethel and Julius Rosenberg… mostly after sampling Ethel’s subpar matzo ball soup.