Libya Chaos
Protesters in Libya have taken over one city and are moving to control even more. It's so chaotic, the Libyan government is too distracted to carry out this week's planned terrorist fantasy league draft.



Train to the Plane
Illinois Governor Pat Quinn wants to spend billions to set up Amtrak service from downtown Chicago to O'Hare airport. That would come in handy when Quinn needs to escape the state after it goes completely bankrupt.



Daytona Winner
20-year-old rookie Trevor Bayne won the Daytona 500 Sunday. Wait until he finds out the race was not a video game.



New ER Rules
Arizona may now require emergency room nurses to ask patients about their immigration status. Usually, they just ask them if they have any spare pot or meth to share.



Cop Cuts
A new report says the San Francisco Police Department may lose 500 cops to budget cuts... and 600 cops to Dunkin' Donuts.






February 21st


1848: Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels publish the Communist Manifesto… also known as every liberal arts professor’s dissertation for the last 163 year.

1937: The League of Nations bans foreign national "volunteers" in the Spanish Civil War, sadly giving Ernest Hemingway more time to write stuff.

1965: Malcolm X is assassinated at the Audubon Ballroom in New York City, giving the throne to his son Malcolm XI.