New York Snow
A massive snow storm has buried New York City under more than a foot of snow. It's so cold, even Rex Ryan's wife is covering her feet.



NFL Game Postponed
The East Coast blizzard was so bad, the Eagles-Vikings game was canceled last night. The decision was made after Eagles QB Michael Vick said he wouldn't even send a dog outside in that weather.



Medicaid Bonus
The Obama administration is now offering states Medicaid bonuses as a reward for getting more children health insurance... and they'll get an even bigger bonus is they start cutting off more old people.



Oregon Tax Hikes
The state of Oregon is jacking up its gas taxes by six more cents on January 1st. That means everyone will have to save up just to drive to the unemployment line.




Death Panel Returns
Starting January 1st, the Obama administration will start paying doctors to give patients “end of life counseling.” And a special bonus will be awarded to the doctor who successfully euthanizes Paris Hilton.





December 27th


537: The Hagia Sophia Cathedral is completed... two days after Christmas, and thus totally killing the business at the gift shop.


2001: China is granted permanent normal trade relations with the United States... that is, as soon as the Chinese find something made in the United States that they want to buy.


2002: The company Clonaid announces that it has successfully cloned a human being, although it has never presented any verifiable evidence other than K.D. Lange and Clay Aiken.