CEO Summit
President Obama is holding a CEO summit at the White House this Wednesday. It's a great way for him to get his resume out there for two years from now.



Change of Venue
Tonight's N.Y. Giants-Minnesota Vikings game will be played at Ford Field in Detroit, and admission will be free. Great, now even the NFL is bailing out Detroit.



Palin in Haiti
Sarah Palin visited Haiti to boost aid efforts on the ravages island. As a result, Hollywood celebrities are now organizing an anti-Haiti relief telethon.



King Stopped
Boxing promoter Don King was stopped at the Cleveland airport for having ammunition in his carry-on luggage. He was later relesed when authorities realized there's really nothing more King can do to destroy boxing than he already has.



Walmart in NYC?
Walmart is close to making a deal to finally open a store in Manhattan. In return for allowing the store to open, Walmart will be requied to supply free defibrillators to every snob from the Upper West Side who has a heart attack when they see Walmart.




December 13th

1294: Saint Celestine V resigns the papacy after only five months, but still collects the lifetime pension with annual cost of living adjustments.


1577: Sir Francis Drake sets out from Plymouth, England, on his round-the-world voyage. Tragically, he forgets to use the bathroom before he leaves.


1636: The Massachusetts Bay Colony organizes three militia regiments to defend the colony against the Pequot Indians, and people who pronounce the "r" in “chowder.”