Price Hikes
Gas prices and food prices are way up again this morning. But on the bright side... you can get a flight on a 30-year-old Southwest 737 real cheap!



Sheen Fail
Charlie Sheen was booed off the stage at the premiere of his one man show in Detroit this weekend. He's had to cancel all his remaining performances except for the one 300 feet outside the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant.



Immelt to Japan
GE chief Jeff Immelt went to Japan this weekend. It's not clear if he was there to defend the nuclear industry or to see if all the money GE hides overseas is glowing.



Libya Latest
The good news for the Libyan rebels is that the U.S. is sending more jets to enforce the no-fly zone. The bad news is those jets are all 737's from Southwest Airlines.



BP Request
BP has asked the Obama administration for permission to get back to drilling in the Gulf of Mexico... not because it's made any safety improvements, but because after the Japanese nuclear plants, BP looks like Greenpeace.




April 4th


1581: Francis Drake is knighted for completing a circumnavigation of the world… and doing it with just one carry-on bag.

1841: William Henry Harrison dies of pneumonia becoming the President of the United States with the shortest term served…. And thus the best President of the United States.

1887: Argonia, Kansas elects Susanna M. Salter as the first female mayor in the U.S. In all fairness, it should be noted that Salter’s only opponent was a cow.